Need To Get Bikini Ready? You Should Probably Subsist on Bread For Two Weeks Prior.

Maybe you would diet considering you were just five months out from having a baby,  you would at least cut down on bread and butter a little bit.  Know what I’ve done?  The opposite.  Sure, we have been juicing some rather intense juices (ever juiced an onion?…oh my goodness I was nauseous from detoxing all day.  I won’t be doing that again while nursing an infant) almost every day, but also I seem to have whittled the remainder of my diet down to lots of sprouted toast and even more butter.  Also, when I cut out all refined sugar (which was not much, but still…) I started craving sugar like mad so of course I made whole wheat (not acceptable, I cheated) shortbread cookies with coconut sugar and grass-fed butter and then ate them all in one day.  What is going on with me?  I don’t know.

But there is an upside to my failures!!!

I noticed some bananas had spots this morning so instead of considering a smoothie guess what I made?  Banana bread.  Duh.

I even documented it for you so we can all take some pleasure in my diving head-first into failure.


(Yes, that is a book called Good Morning Holy Spirit that a friend just gave me.  I was going to move it out of the picture and then I was like “Nope, not ashamed.”)

Oh but it was so fun.  And funny.  I don’t know if baking with a little girl will be different, but boy I was not expecting such boyishness from Dub.  I was like:

“Hey Dub, wanna make banana bread with me?”

He nods a yes.

I say “Okay c’mon!”

“Here is how we crack an egg…wait, no wait okay…let me help you…oh wow!  Oh baby baby….ahhh….ooooooooookaaaaaay, well, I bet that feels fun but actually the point is to get JUST the inside of the egg into the cup but that works too.  Okay let’s clean up.”

He smashed the egg and immediately started smashing the shell up between his hands and saying “Ooooooh!  Ahhhhh!”

I looked away for a second before mixing the wet ingredients and he was already dumping in the dry.  He also couldn’t not try to dump the three small molds of batter out onto the table.  It was kind of chaotic but I loved every minute of it.


Also, I realized half-way into mixing ingredients that I don’t have a loaf pan anymore!  Apparently one of those random things you don’t think to buy until you need it.

So, this banana bread took basically no time, is super easy, and incorporates a 1/2cup of flaxseed meal which is good for the digestion I totally need after the last two weeks of bread-binging.

Fix a problem with more of the problem, and a little of the answer sprinkled on top.  GOSH I’m good.

Speaking of cussing (or not, as it were), I’ve mentioned here before how I have loved the language of cuss.  A couple of years ago when I started this blog I had quit cussing.  I never told you, but I started again shortly after that.  I have been happily sporting the mouth of a sailor, since.  Until recently.  Something has caused me to have a bad taste in my mouth every time I cuss.  It’s strange.  It’s cool, actually.  I do have one question though:

I know they say ‘ass’ on the radio (as I have addressed in a prior post), and ass is a donkey, so don’t you think it’s okay to say ass?  I don’t feel like it’s bad, and quite honestly, when something happens and I want to cuss it feels good to say “OH ASS.”  Ya know?  Just me?

Anyway, banana bread.


Bam.  I got this recipe from Smitten Kitchen because she rules.  I changed things, as I do, so it is much less unhealthy but still kind of naughty.

Banana Bread (adapted from Smitten Kitchen)

3 to 4 ripe bananas, smashed
1/3 cup melted salted butter (or some butter and some oil…I used sunflower oil because I’ve used so much butter this week I’m going to get in trouble if I already need to buy more:)
3/4c coconut sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon baking soda
Pinch of salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1 1/2c flour (I used 1/2c all purpose 1/2c whole wheat, and 1/2c flaxseed meal)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix wet, then mix dry, then add dry to wet.  If you are me you will just do it all at once since my little helper knows nothing of order and just dumped it all in.  The dough is wet enough to where it doesn’t make much difference.

In one loaf pan bake 50 minutes to an hour.  In three it took 36 minutes.  She split hers in half and she said it took 45 minutes.  My oven is gas so if you do 3 small loaves check around 30 minutes and see how they are doing.


It’s simple.  It’s delish.  It’s fast.  That’s what a mama wants these days.

I couldn’t interest Dub in any “banana bread” once it had baked because he had been slightly nonplussed at tasting the batter.  Know what I did?  I started calling it “banana cake with butter frosting.”

I don’t even care.  I care not.  Sorry not sorry.  I manipulated my child into eating something that really shouldn’t even be called “healthy.”

Oh, here is dream baby.


And here is Dub having his third huge bite of what he indicated he had NO interest in just moments before.


Thank you.  Enjoy.  Peace out.