It’s Been Too Long, I Suck. Baby Weight, Me. Thrift Store Junkie. Cacao Breakfast Milkshake Final Episode.

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You guys.  I have found THE recipe for the Cacao Breakfast Milkshake.  It’s amazing.  If you have any faith in me at all you will try this one.  It’s different, better and more awesome than even I thought possible.  I’ll get to that.  Also, I have discovered that the baby weight is not just falling off.  Dub will be a year in a couple of weeks and I still have to suck my tummy in.  (I didn’t say belly because that makes it all too real.  I have a tummy, in the same way I toot not fart.  One is just grosser than the other.)

So I made some changes and d-d-damn if I haven’t already seen some results.  You know how I don’t eat grains really (certainly no wheat, but the rare exception for soaked kamut porridge and spelt something or other), well I’ve also cut out gluten-free breads.  Even though I make them myself I think there is probably not a lot of necessity in them except a vehicle by which to shovel grass-fed butter into my pie hole.  Oh, you think that could have been the problem?  Oh grasshopper how little you know.

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Check. Out. These. Eggs.  Do they look similar to you?  They are NOT.  The egg that is closest is from the chickens out back and the other egg is from a local, pastured, non-gmo fed chicken elsewhere.  One might consider those eggs quite good, and in a pinch we use them around here but look at the difference in the color of the yolk!  Obviously my chickens are far superior to any other chickens in the land.  Obviously.

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Here is Ani, the wonder dog.  I’m sure it’s been too long since you have seen her graying muzzle.

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I went thrifting yesterday (which I might have a slight obsession with) and kind of had to get these pillows (which are pop outs btw) for Dub’s nursery.  I fully intended on putting them on the day bed along with all the other vintage pillows that lie beneath the pottery barn bed canopy that I put up thinking Dub would like to play under it like a teepee not realizing he is 11 months.  It’s staying up.  But look, Icarus thinks it’s her family.  She hangs out with the wild things all day long since I put them there.  I can’t take them from her now.  This “fire item” of mine now has the name “safari chair” although it is not an actual safari chair.

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This is a safari chair.  I know.  I’ve had my share of African safaris.

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I’m finally entering the phase of motherhood where you get to “dress” your baby.   I mean, I am all about the baby leggings, the black and white striped goodness, geometric shapes, and american apparel cardigans, but once the baby becomes big enough to “stand” and rock the goods?  It’s ON.

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Yes, those are baby Toms and even though I have been over Toms for years now we just could not resist.  I mean, the cuteness.

Here I had a photo of hummus, but it looked funny and food shouldn’t look funny so I’ll save the photos for the recipe post, but just so you know, hummus is the easiest thing to make at home, like ever.  I knew that, but I bet some of you didn’t know that so I’m going to post that recipe soon.  Homemade hummus is bomb and garbanzo beans are powerhouses of nutrition.

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During my thrifting yesterday I found this gem, which is now hanging on the wall in the living room.  I am all about textiles on walls and when they are right they really are right.  Major score.

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I had to have this guy for two reasons.  He is white and he is asian.  White things brighten up a light-challenged space, and asian things just make people happy.  What?  You didn’t know that?  Maybe you aren’t obsessed with ay-ZSHUN like I am, but every space could benefit from some asian in one form or another, says me.

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Nope, ani did not poop a snake.  I actually thought this was a cool looking shot until this moment when I realized it looked strange.  Still I will post it.

Now for the pièce de résistance!  The Cacao Breakfast Milkshake that will rival all other Cacao Breakfast Milkshake(s) and Cacao Breakfast Milkshake Revised(s).

This milkshake has evolved due to necessity.  At one point I was sharing it with Dub so I needed to use Carob instead of Cacao.  Then I realized that my original revision was silly because if I’m sharing it with my baby I should make it with as much fat as possible and that is how it became what it is now.  Although, I have since quit sharing it because Dub doesn’t need it daily (as I do) and so I’ve kept the fat and cut the carob, replacing it with cacao once again.  No, the fat in this shake is not why the baby weight doesn’t fall off.  Fat is good.  I will chant it to my grave.

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THE Cacao Breakfast Milkshake:

1 1/2 c raw whole grass-fed milk

handful sunflower seeds

2 pitted medjool dates (if you get the medjool dates from Trader Joes they are hard and older than they should be so make sure to soak them in the milk for at least 10 minutes before blending)

1 tbsp grade b maple syrup

1 pastured egg yolk (don’t toss your egg whites!  Save them.  I’ll post a recipe for Merengues along with the hummus recipe!)

pinch salt

1 heaping tbsp raw cacao powder

4 ice cubes

1 frozen banana

1 avocado

In a high-speed blender (I use a vita mix) start on low setting 1 and quickly turn to 10 and switch to high.  Blend for about 30 seconds or until smooth.  This shake needs a spoon.  This shake will make you swoon.  You will eat every last bit.  This shake is the sh _ _.  You’re welcome for that.

-Bee

3 thoughts on “It’s Been Too Long, I Suck. Baby Weight, Me. Thrift Store Junkie. Cacao Breakfast Milkshake Final Episode.

  1. nice to have you back! i’ve been buying eggs from a woman at work who raises chickens and i’ve noticed a difference too. i’ll try the revised shake this weekend and report back! 🙂

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